“How do you forgive someone who has hurt you so terribly bad? Or more yet, how do you forgive someone who has hurt someone you love? And that someone you love is no longer able to forgive, or to be in my life, or the lives of my family who miss her so much?”
Every eye in the crowded room was focused on the floor, the ceiling fan, the wall, anywhere but on Pua, the one who’s question had struck them to the quick. Tears of anguish spilled from her eyes and ran down her cheeks as she continued, “and even though the person who murdered my sister, took away her vibrant life at such a young age is in prison today for what he did so long ago, I want him to suffer more! I don’t want, and I cannot even imagine how to forgive him.”
A stunned silence filled the room as a palpable and rising tension permeated the crowded gathering and made the heat of the summer evening seem more intense than it already was. Pua had just opened a window of vulnerability into the most deeply guarded part of her life, probably against her every survival instinct, and each person in that room was having trouble processing what they had just heard. Her words, a red hot and penetrating iron that stunned every person in the room. Pua was reacting to a message I had just shared about forgiveness. Our mission team was holding a service in a packed house church on a hot and dry July day in Eastern Washington. At the conclusion of my message, I had opened the subject up for discussion. I watched my dear friend struggle with emotion as I strained to find some sort of an answer that would ease her pain, or give her a new insight into God’s forgiveness plan for all believers. There was no easy answer. How could any of us relate? Sure, we all had hurts in our lives, some damaging even. But none of us had suffered such a violent attack so close to home.
We listened as first one awkward word of encouragement was offered, and then another, but each falling far short of assuring our Sister that forgiveness was possible no matter how impossible it seemed. In fact, the pat-answers only added to the frustration Pua was feeling.
In the end, we all came together and prayed as an Ohana. Prayed for Pua, for her family, for forgiveness in general. As we concluded our service, the hurt was still there, but the process of healing had begun as she began to realize that God wanted her to give Him this dark and injured part of her soul because He truly is making all things new. He knew the plans He had for Pua, her husband Ryan, and her children. They were all created for a distinct purpose. But to know that purpose, she had to give up everything she had held onto over the years, even that deep, dark hurt that fed her hatred for a man she would never know.
She could not do it on her own, but as she surrendered her hurt, God’s Holy spirit began to give her a Christ-like perspective, to give her a new heart. Only then was she able to forgive, and forgive, and forgive, some days easier than others. In doing so, God revealed to Pua that He had created her to be a minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. He led her into ministry, first as a Youth Pastor, and is now leading her to a new Mission Field on the beautiful Island of Molokai Hawaii.
God is doing a new thing. He wants to do a new thing in each of your lives. But to do so, we all must surrender our hurts, our unforgiveness, and even our sin to the Creator and Author of life. Let’s move forward into 2019 with the goal of surrender in mind, that God can make us all He created us to be. Imua in the Lord!